Introduction

I'm not sure what the average blog opens with, but usually its with an introduction. I feel insulted to have to introduce myself, as if none of you peons know who I am.. My name is Thomas Anderson II, I live in a very refined district of East Egg, New York, along with my equally as refined friends and my influential family.

I'm not used to introducing myself; I usually have someone to do it for me.. This is why I have hired my personal introduction writer, and butler, to write it for me. I have much more important things to be doing right now, so I'm not going to waste my time writing an introduction.

Patsy (The Introduction Writer):

Thomas Anderson II comes from an extremely wealthy family. He is 21 years old, and is eloquently unemployed, as the rest of his overbearing, extravagant family appears to be. The l

ast known relative to take up a solid working occupation was Thomas' great uncle Henry, who was cast out of the family for associating with the working class. His uncle's mother, Thomas' Grandmother, was horrified that Uncle Henry brought home a girl he met that WORKED as a secretary. Henry's mother was outraged, and through clever manipulation of the American legal system, Henry's last name was legally changed to “Brown”, and he was suspiciously dragged on to a plane with a one way ticked to Bangladesh. He is still there, unable to leave the country due to lack of funds, working as a tobacco farmer.

Thomas spends much of his time at the country club, or planning out his own dream amusement park. His cousin Rupert was quite interested in Thomas' passion for an amusement park, he was so interested that he has begun an ambitious project to convert the island of Zanzibar, Tanzania, into one huge tourist/thrill seeking amusement compound with multiple levels. The current inhabitants of Zanzibar will occupy the 'lower' levels while they do menial jobs to maintain the 'amusement compound.' This is Rupert's planned Christmas gift to Thomas.

As you can plainly see, the Andersons are filthy rich, have no concept of effort, hard work or persistence. Any strand of hereditary morals has slipped away for the past generations of Andersons. Each generation grows more slovenly, overindulgent, intolerant and ignorant than the one previous. The only way I, Patsy Robertson Bateman Junior, can get away with this description of the Andersons is because my family has been servants for the Andersons for years, since the early 17th century... I know Thomas well enough to know that he won't read this introduction at all. He Is too arrogant and sure of himself to look over what has been written about him. He expects that it will all be perfect and glorifying.

The Anderson's family's foolishness has, on many occasions, ruined my life. Their irresponsibility and lack of basic morals has contributed to so much evil in this world that it is unbelievable. Because of the Andersons, I lost my marriage with my wife, my dream career..everything I hold dear to me has been lost. To them, my presence on this world is simply to benefit them, nothing more. And for this reason, I have no respect for these people at all. Sometimes I wonder why I haven't just thrown in the towel, and finally finished myself off with a good bullet to the head.. Maybe next week, if things get any worse, I'll park my car in my garage and leave it on, letting the exhaust fumes take me away from this foul life that has been ruined by the narcissistic pigs that I serve.